Happy New Year!!

Best wishes for a happy, healthy and safe new year!

I have a feeling that

2009 is going to be great....

Our Christmas Extravaganza

There's just nothing like Christmas! And boy does my family know how to celebrate! We had the entire Rolapp family and Jake with us for about a week. So, every night we had an 'event'. We decorated cookies, played games, ate, had a visit from Santa, ate, opened a ton of presents, and ate. Oh, and did I mention we ate?

Celia was so much fun this year. She just loves having people over. And an entire week of family and friends at our house until late at night was just her kind of party. Decorating cookies was so much fun. She frosts, then licks, then eats something, then licks more frosting off her finger. I had to keep her cookies in a special pile. Just in case anyone accidentally ate the slimy ones.

Christmas eve, we had a surprise visit from Santa Claus. (Thank you Trip!!) Celia was so excited she hid under the chair. Then she watched anxiously as Santa gave out presents to everyone. It was all she could do to wait patiently. As it took longer and longer, she whispered to my aunt Janae, "Do you think I'm getting one?" And she did! A real tea set. She was thrilled. But, then didn't know exactly how to play it. So Terry taught her all the ins and out of tea party. You have to keep the cup on the saucer and hold your pinkie just so. She was enthralled! Now we play tea party every day!

Shortly after Santa left and Trip magically appeared again, Celia was staring at him. Then she pronounces, "You were Santa! I know it!" Then since she knew the secret it was even more fun to play along with the Santa pretend. What a little smarty!

After much thought, Celia decided Santa needed a healthy snack this year. She put grapes, craisens and a banana on her Christmas plate then poured him a big glass of orange juice. She ate most of the grapes. But, said that it was ok because "Santa likes to share." Then I wrote while she dictated her letter. It's so darling, I just have to share it...

Santa-

I put this fruit on my plate. This is a healthy snack. Are you grumpy or happy? Am I on the good list? I didn't hit. I shared my toys. I sleep in my bed. I want ponies, dollies, boy dollies too, castles and princesses. Please. And armies.

Thank you!

Cecelia

Well, the healthy snack and note must have worked. She got a My Little Pony Amusement Park. And she loved it. She hasn't stopped playing with it ever since. And she even followed Santa's advice from his letter back to her and shared her new toys. Mommy gave her her own Book of Mormon, a cutting practice book and a keyboard with a microphone. Yeah, I'm totally regretting the microphone.

Grandma and Grandpa totally spoiled the kids this year. They got sleds, globes, new dress up clothes, snuggle blankets and these funny little headlamps. And I got new snow pants, coat and gloves so that I can play in the snow with Celia. Now, if I could just get over the cold I also got for Christmas, we could have some fun.

My favorite part of Christmas this year? Spending time with my family. I have to admit, I was very reluctant about everyone being at out house. But, I loved it. Laughing with my cousins and sharing this special holiday was just what I needed.

And my cousin Jake has decided to move here. I'm super excited about that! He'll be here next week. Yay! I hope we get to see more of him and his darling little girl Akira. Celia just adores 'little Kira' and 'big Jake". I do to.

The only thing that could have made this year better? No, not snow. We got plenty of that. Having Dan here! Maybe next year. And there's always New Years...

To pierce or not to pierce

We had a very late night last night. Our house is full of family for the holiday and it was close to 11 when I finally got Celia in bed. I thought she was asleep when I hear her little feet in the hall.
"Mom" she whispers, "I have to ask you a question."
"Ok." I answer back.
"Can I get my ears pierced?"
Oh my Celia! Her little mind just never shuts off! I then did my best to explain that it was really late and she needed to go back to sleep. I asked her to think about getting her ears pierced for a few more days and that we could talk about it in the morning.
"So, I can get my ears pierced in the morning?!"
"No." But, we can talk about it some more. Goodnight."
So, what does she ask me first thing this morning? Yep. "Can I get my ears pierced today?" I told her to think about it a few more days. But, she wouldn't give up. So I tried to explain the whole piercing process to her. I wasn't trying to scare her. I just wanted her to know that it would hurt a little bit. She is completely undeterred and just as sure as she was last night that she totally wants to get them pierced.
Maybe I'm a mean mom. But, I'm really hesitant to get her ears pierced. Her ears are darling. And I just know she'll hate the earrings about one second after they put them in. And I'll have to beg her to let me do the upkeep on them. And then heaven forbid they get infected. She'll flip out. And she's three! When she asked a few months ago, I told her she could get them pierced when she was big. My mistake. In her mind, she is very 'big'. I should have said, "Ok, when you're 6 or 8 or 25."
Lesson learned.

Monday just comes way too fast...

Busy weekend. But, what a fun weekend! I was super excited that Dan was flying in town and I would be able to see him Saturday. And then I got a text about 3 on Saturday from Dan. He said to go outside. And he was there! That was the best surprise ever!
So then, lucky him, Dan got to attend our neighborhood party. We've started a new tradition of having the neighbors over instead of exchanging gifts. We all get together to socialize and we bring food to donate to the Utah Food Bank. This year was so much fun! The house was full, but we had some super fun friends and great conversation. Poor Dan! He's used to a little more subdued evening.
Saturday, Dan and I took Celia to breakfast and then attempted to get some holiday shopping done while Celia stayed with Mom and Bill. Celia just couldn't wait to make snow angels and tracks in the snow. She's been talking about snow since about April. And if you ask her, it snowed just so she could play in it. Since she's perfected snow angels, she's now learning to make and throw snowballs. After watching her, I've decided mittens are a really cruel joke! It's no wonder she takes them off. I mean they're practical if you don't want frostbite. But, not so helpful when learning to make and throw snowballs. Her little piles flew about a foot in front of her. She's not going to give up though.
Our work has a family Christmas party every year at the Treehouse. Celia just loves it. So Dan and I took her. She was way excited to see Santa. But, I was afraid she'd start screaming like she did last year. Oh no. She was all confidence. In fact she stood in the line by herself and marched right up to Santa. Before he would even say anything she blurted out, "Hi, I'm Celia. I want a lot of Polly's." It's a good thing that Dan bought her some Polly's earlier that day! I finished her holiday shopping weeks ago. At the time she wanted Ponies. Polly's. Ponies. Well, now she's got both. And she's working so hard to stay on the nice list. I swear, it's the best being good incentive for her!
Sunday we had the unexpected chance to attend 'Music and the Spoken Word'. So, Mom, Dan and I went. It was so much fun and so well done. It's was a Christmas special, so there were dancers, bell ringers and special musical guests. I would love to go again. It was so well done!
Can I just say, I love my ward?! I've been a little bit hesitant since our boundaries changed. I was so wrong to ever have been like that! I'm making so many friends. And the new people are all so kind. It's a great ward. I really don't want to move from it!
Dan had to fly back home Sunday night. It gets harder and harder to say goodbye to him. He'll be here for New Years. I'm SO looking forward to that!

Celia Quote of the Week

Sunday, Mom, Dan and I went to Music and the Spoken Word. It was wonderful! I'll write a little more about that later. I'm still laughing about what my sweet little Celia said when I picked her up from Randee's house. She was super excited to tell me that she had watched the broadcast on TV. Here's our little conversation...
"Mom, there were ballerinas!"
"I know. I saw them."
"Mom, do you know what boy ballerinas are called?"
Now, at this point I'm thinking just how smart my little girl is. I don't even know what boy ballerinas are called. So I asked her to tell me.
"Fairies" she replied with the straightest face. She had no clue what she was saying. Or why all three adults in the car were dying laughing! Once, I could breath again, I wiped the tears from my eyes and asked her who told her that.
"Uncle Kev!"
I should have known! Thanks Kev!

Court update

What a day! How can I explain the relief I feel? I'm still processing all the emotions. But, I woke up this morning feeling happy and so relieved. I have a future. A happy future. I guess I had to literally go through hell and back to truly appreciate what I do have...
I've tried to write about what all happened yesterday. It just keep getting garbled since the emotions are so fresh. My mom wrote the following in an email update to some dearly loved friends and family. I'll share it here, since it's better than I can write.

Hi everyone,

I just thought that I would give you all an update on Amanda's divorce:

We spent the entire day today in mediation, and then court, and then a little more mediation and another court hearing. Everything in the divorce has been decided, Amanda's lawyer will draw up the paper work, submit it to Jason's lawyer (he committed under oath today that he agreed with everything) send it back to the court for the judge to sign, and then have it registered. In a perfect world, it could take under two weeks! That would be a huge blessing, but even if it takes a lot longer relief is on the way for Amanda. We were sooooo relieved by the end of the day!

The court has scheduled 3 days in January to decide all of Cecelia's stuff. We were advised today by a couple of different people that even if Jason is convicted, the chance of him being able to start seeing her again was very probable. The Division of Child and Family Services advised us that with a therapists approval, the visits could possibly start before the hearings start. We hope that the timing of everything will prevent that from happening, but they just wanted us to know that it could be a possibility. They said that it is better that way since if the court awards in Jason's favor, then he could possibly see Cecelia right away. We pray that this does not happen, but I think they just wanted to prepare us for anything that could happen.

Jason didn't look very good today. We all though that he looked as if he had aged a lot. Maybe the consequences of his actions have caught up with him??? I don't know. He kept saying that he just didn't have any money and that he was going to be filing bankruptcy. He has two very wealthy parents that have bailed him out a lot. Amanda didn't get awarded any where near the amount that would have helped pay the debts that Jason left her with, but I think that she is just feeling grateful that one part of this nightmare will be over. We keep reminding her that she has everything that is important, Cecelia, and that the rest just doesn't matter.

It has been a really rough week for Cecelia. I think she must just sense when something is about to happen. As much as we have tried to act normal, I know that she has felt the tension and anxiety this week. Thanks to those who have loved her through her hard week, Aunt Janae and Aunt Randee. We hope that things will return to a little more normalcy around here.

Well, that was a lot for you to read. I guess that maybe I just needed to journal a bit. Amanda and I had a good cry after court today and we will think about January in January. For now, she (and all of us) have something to look forward to! Please keep remembering them in your prayers!

lots of love to you all,

Sandy

Court tomorrow...

Wish me luck. Tomorrow is a pretty hefty court day. Mediation, conference with DCFS and a pre-hearing. I'm just a little nervous. I want so badly for mediation to go well. Then I can FINALLY be divorced. Two years is a really, really long time...

I am SO loving Christmas this year!

Last year... well, it was tough. But, already, this year is more than making up for everything! I am just so grateful to be surrounded by my family and friends. And Celia is super fun this year! She's excited about all the little Christmas activities and way into the being on the 'good list' thing.

Saturday, was our ward Christmas breakfast. Way fun! The food was great and Celia had a blast. She got to be Mary in the little nativity. I wish I would have gotten a picture of her staring moment. She lovingly cradled the baby Jesus and positively glowed. With the look on her face, you could practically read her little mind. "Yay! Everyone is looking at ME! Aren't I just the cutest Mary EVER?!" Oh, my little Celia... After her little production, she had a ton of fun running a muck with all her friends. It just makes me laugh. Wherever she is, she seems to be in the center of a group of kids. She is such the little social butterfly. She definitely didn't get that from me!

Celia was totally excited to see Santa. She kept saying, "Mom, look a really big shadow. He's coming!" When Santa did finally make his appearance, just guess who was the first to greet him? Yep. My little one. It went something like this. "Hi Santa! I'm Celia. I want all the pollies and ponies for Christmas. I'm on the good list!" I think she rehearsed it! And that was before she got to sit on his lap. I thought for sure she'd get nervous. But, nope. She grabbed her best friend Savannah's hand and marched right up to him. So cute!!

Saturday, we went to get a few more Christmas trees. I think we now have 7. Celia picked out a little tiny one that she just fell in love with. So we made it a bird tree. We coated pine cones with peanut butter and birdseed. Then strung up some cranberries, oranges and apples. It smells great. I just hope the little birds eat it. Celia will be heartbroken if they don't.

Sunday was a great day. I so needed the amazing spiritual uplift I got at church. The testimonies were so beautiful! I just love hearing others share their faith and experiences. They all voiced things that are so dear to my own heart. And the Relief Society lesson was so what I needed to hear. And so beautifully delivered. I am so fortunate to be in the ward I am. And I just got my new visiting teaching assignment. I'm so excited!! I can't wait to get to know my ladies!

Celia decorated her first gingerbread house Sunday night. It looks darling! I let her put the candy on. And she did such a great job. She's all into patterns lately. So she made little patterns all around the house. That, and she ate about 5 pounds of candy. Every time I turned around she was stuffing another candy something in her mouth. Oh well. Gumdrops are a good dinner, right?

After such a busy weekend, I was worried that Celia would wake up crabby. Mondays are usually pretty hard for her. She surprised me though. She quietly got out of bed and came to find me when she woke up. She sweetly said, "I had really good dreams last night." And she slept the whole night in her bed. So mommy got a good nights sleep too!

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Some days I actually think I'm the one in charge...silly me!

Celia is quite the little mess maker. She just love shaving cream, shampoo and toothpaste. They make wonderful art projects in the shower and tub. I've hidden things from her, put them where she can't reach and threatened her within an inch of her life. But, when she puts her mind to something.... well, lets just say I buy a lot of toothpaste.
Last night she got into my mom's shaving cream. Again. Since the scoldings haven't worked in the past, I thought I'd try another more creative tactic. I told her she needed to go tell Grandma what she had done, apologize, then ask what chore she could do to make up for it. Well, she did and was assigned to wipe down the toilet. What I didn't figure into my master plan is that Celia loves to do chores. She was ever so happy to scrub that whole toilet down. In fact she was having so much fun, she wanted to scrub the sink, floor and toilet plunger! Ugh! I mean the cleaning thing is pretty cool. But, I was trying to teach a lesson! Score one for Celia!
In an attempt to rescue my failed plan, my mom told Celia that next time she gets into the bathroom things she will need get money out of her bank to pay for it. "Ok!" she exclaims. "I have lots of money! I like to share!" That's when Mom and I cut our losses and sent her downstairs to get her pajamas on. I guess I'll be buying more shaving cream. That, and bathroom wipes.

Jacob 2

You know how some passages feel as if they are written just for you? I've read and re-read this chapter a dozen or so times. My friend from my old ward in Sunset had shared it with me a few years ago. And I've come across it in my study every now and again. Yesterday it popped up on my ipod and I listened to it twice. It's a little long for a blog entry, but I wanted to share it. Please bear with me!

THE BOOK OF JACOB
THE BROTHER OF NEPHI
CHAPTER 2

1 The words which Jacob, the brother of Nephi, spake unto the people of Nephi, after the death of Nephi:
2 Now, my beloved brethren, I, Jacob, according to the responsibility which I am under to God, to magnify mine office with soberness, and that I might rid my garments of your sins, I come up into the temple this day that I might declare unto you the word of God.
3 And ye yourselves know that I have hitherto been diligent in the office of my calling; but I this day am weighed down with much more desire and anxiety for the welfare of your souls than I have hitherto been.
4 For behold, as yet, ye have been obedient unto the word of the Lord, which I have given unto you.
5 But behold, hearken ye unto me, and know that by the help of the all-powerful Creator of heaven and earth I can tell you concerning your thoughts, how that ye are beginning to labor in sin, which sin appeareth very abominable unto me, yea, and abominable unto God.
6 Yea, it grieveth my soul and causeth me to shrink with shame before the presence of my Maker, that I must testify unto you concerning the wickedness of your hearts.
7 And also it grieveth me that I must use so much boldness of speech concerning you, before your wives and your children, many of whose feelings are exceedingly tender and chaste and delicate before God, which thing is pleasing unto God;
8 And it supposeth me that they have come up hither to hear the pleasing word of God, yea, the word which healeth the wounded soul.
9 Wherefore, it burdeneth my soul that I should be constrained, because of the strict commandment which I have received from God, to admonish you according to your crimes, to enlarge the wounds of those who are already wounded, instead of consoling and healing their wounds; and those who have not been wounded, instead of feasting upon the pleasing word of God have daggers placed to pierce their souls and wound their delicate minds.
10 But, notwithstanding the greatness of the task, I must do according to the strict commands of God, and tell you concerning your wickedness and abominations, in the presence of the pure in heart, and the broken heart, and under the glance of the piercing eye of the Almighty God.
11 Wherefore, I must tell you the truth according to the plainness of the word of God. For behold, as I inquired of the Lord, thus came the word unto me, saying: Jacob, get thou up into the temple on the morrow, and declare the word which I shall give thee unto this people.
12 And now behold, my brethren, this is the word which I declare unto you, that many of you have begun to search for gold, and for silver, and for all manner of precious ores, in the which this land, which is a bland of promise unto you and to your seed, doth abound most plentifully.
13 And the hand of providence hath smiled upon you most pleasingly, that you have obtained many riches; and because some of you have obtained more abundantly than that of your brethren ye are lifted up in the pride of your hearts, and wear stiff necks and high heads because of the costliness of your apparel, and persecute your brethren because ye suppose that ye are better than they.
14 And now, my brethren, do ye suppose that God justifieth you in this thing? Behold, I say unto you, Nay. But he condemneth you, and if ye persist in these things his judgments must speedily come unto you.
15 O that he would show you that he can pierce you, and with one glance of his eye he can smite you to the dust!
16 O that he would rid you from this iniquity and abomination. And, O that ye would listen unto the word of his commands, and let not this pride of your hearts destroy your souls!
17 Think of your brethren like unto yourselves, and be familiar with all and free with your substance, that they may be rich like unto you.
18 But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God.
19 And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.
20 And now, my brethren, I have spoken unto you concerning pride; and those of you which have afflicted your neighbor, and persecuted him because ye were proud in your hearts, of the things which God hath given you, what say ye of it?
21 Do ye not suppose that such things are abominable unto him who created all flesh? And the one being is as precious in his sight as the other. And all flesh is of the dust; and for the selfsame end hath he created them, that they should keep his commandments and glorify him forever.
22 And now I make an end of speaking unto you concerning this pride. And were it not that I must speak unto you concerning a grosser crime, my heart would rejoice exceedingly because of you.
23 But the word of God burdens me because of your grosser crimes. For behold, thus saith the Lord: This people begin to wax in iniquity; they understand not the scriptures, for they seek to excuse themselves in committing whoredoms because of the things which were written concerning David, and Solomon his son.
24 Behold, David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord.
25 Wherefore, thus saith the Lord, I have led this people forth out of the land of Jerusalem, by the power of mine arm, that I might raise up unto me a righteous branch from the fruit of the loins of Joseph.
26 Wherefore, I the Lord God will not suffer that this people shall do like unto them of old.
27 Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be bone wife; and concubines he shall have none;
28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts.
29 Wherefore, this people shall keep my commandments, saith the Lord of Hosts, or accursed be the land for their sakes.
30 For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.
31 For behold, I, the Lord, have seen the sorrow, and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people in the land of Jerusalem, yea, and in all the lands of my people, because of the wickedness and abominations of their husbands.
32 And I will not suffer, saith the Lord of Hosts, that the cries of the fair daughters of this people, which I have led out of the land of Jerusalem, shall come up unto me against the men of my people, saith the Lord of Hosts.
33 For they shall not lead away captive the daughters of my people because of their tenderness, save I shall visit them with a sore curse, even unto destruction; for they shall not commit whoredoms, like unto them of old, saith the Lord of Hosts.
34 And now behold, my brethren, ye know that these commandments were given to our father, Lehi; wherefore, ye have known them before; and ye have come unto great condemnation; for ye have done these things which ye ought not to have done.
35 Behold, ye have done greater iniquities than the Lamanites, our brethren. Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives, and lost the confidence of your children, because of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend up to God against you. And because of the strictness of the word of God, which cometh down against you, many hearts died, pierced with deep wounds.

'Love & Logic'

If you have kids, try it. I'm such a skeptic, but this really works! Especially on a super rambunctious three year old named Celia. For example, I had gotten in the habit of just letting her sleep with me. I know, I know. She'll forever be warped. But, being that it's just the two of us, it was so much easier. After one too many not-so-great nights of sleep, I knew we needed a change. I adopted a very 'Love & Logic' approach and I'm happy to report Celia is sleeping in her own bed, happily, every night. We've worked out a great little system. We still get story, scriptures and snuggle time in. And she gets some time to read alone in her room. She calls it 'big girl time'. She gets a pile of books and 'reads' quietly in her bed. I usually give her about 10 minutes, then turn her light out. It's working great. I get 'mommy time', she gets her 'big girl time' and we both get a good nights sleep! Which makes for a much happier Celia throughout the day. I've really noticed a change in her. I mean she still has her off moments. But, by and large she's really improving. I'm working hard to not loose my temper with her. And to give her choices to empower her to want to have better behavior. It sounds a little wacky. All I know is that it's making for a much better relationship for us. That combined with everything we've struggled through the past year, has really brought Celia and I closer. She's always been a mommy's girl. But, more so now. My wish is that it carries with us our whole lives together.