'Love & Logic'

If you have kids, try it. I'm such a skeptic, but this really works! Especially on a super rambunctious three year old named Celia. For example, I had gotten in the habit of just letting her sleep with me. I know, I know. She'll forever be warped. But, being that it's just the two of us, it was so much easier. After one too many not-so-great nights of sleep, I knew we needed a change. I adopted a very 'Love & Logic' approach and I'm happy to report Celia is sleeping in her own bed, happily, every night. We've worked out a great little system. We still get story, scriptures and snuggle time in. And she gets some time to read alone in her room. She calls it 'big girl time'. She gets a pile of books and 'reads' quietly in her bed. I usually give her about 10 minutes, then turn her light out. It's working great. I get 'mommy time', she gets her 'big girl time' and we both get a good nights sleep! Which makes for a much happier Celia throughout the day. I've really noticed a change in her. I mean she still has her off moments. But, by and large she's really improving. I'm working hard to not loose my temper with her. And to give her choices to empower her to want to have better behavior. It sounds a little wacky. All I know is that it's making for a much better relationship for us. That combined with everything we've struggled through the past year, has really brought Celia and I closer. She's always been a mommy's girl. But, more so now. My wish is that it carries with us our whole lives together.

Good List or Naughty List?

Celia and I were reading scriptures the other night. We're in Mormon, where the Nephites are becoming really wicked. I was reading and explaining the way I usually do. Out of the blue, Celia sits up and asks "Mom, am I on the good list or the naughty list?" I told her I was pretty sure she was on Santa's good list and told her some of the good choices she's made the last few days. She responds "I think the Nephites are on the naughty list." She was dead serious and it was all I could do not to laugh!


I might be cursing myself in writing this. But, Celia has been a complete angel for going on 5 days! I honestly shouldn't be so shocked. She's just been so good. She' been sleeping in her own bed, picking up her toys and eating her dinner, all with minimal encouragement. All the things a parent just loves. So I wonder, what's up? I've been using a lot of good 'Love and Logic' ideas. I keep thinking, "Wow, this is totally working." And then she tells me about the good list thing. I think maybe that's it...

I'm a very mean mom...

That is if you ask Celia. Here's why...Dinnertimes have become very stressful lately. She's up and down wanting to go play, and seldom finishes anything resembling a decent dinner. So my mom had a good 'love and logic' solution to try. If after sitting at the table for a while, she decides she's not wanting to eat, she can choose to get down. However, she's informed that she won't be having any after dinner snacks if she gets hungry. And then I have to actually stick to it. I guess the logic is that no child ever starved from missing one meal. And that soon enough being a little hungry will remind her that dinner is the time to eat.
Last night was our first test run. And I stuck to it. She cried and cried about 7pm. We were leaving Wal-Mart and she spied McDonalds and she just 'needed a meal'. Did she ever pull out the stops. Tears, negotiations, 'I love you Mommy's'. The whole none yards. But, I stuck to the choice she had made. I just gently explained that she made the choice not to have dinner and snacks. I offered that maybe next time she'd like to make a better choice.
So, I'm a mean mom. The battle of wills has begun.