I'm engaged to the most patient, loving and supportive man. Dan loves me in ways that surprise me everyday. He is affectionate, thoughtful, kind and he makes me laugh. He honestly thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. And all other girls have disappeared for him. He listens when I talk and remembers things that I'm concerned about or that I might want or want to do. He sends me little notes to remind me he misses me and is thinking about me. He is working his tail off to be able to buy our little family a house and move out here so we can be together. He sincerely loves my daughter and misses her just as much as he misses me. Maybe even more! I could go on and on. Dan is such a good man and I'm the luckiest girl in the world that he waited patiently for 10 years for me to figure out what I really wanted.
So where's the struggle? It's me!! Stupid, insecure me. I struggle to accept his love. I struggle to trust. I struggle with just allowing things to be good. I was burned so badly in the past that even a compliment is hard for me to accept. Take last night. I must have driven him nuts with my anxiety. But, he patiently talked me through three or four phone calls until I finally settled down enough to sleep.
I love Dan so much. I wish I had better words to describe how I feel. I need to just relax. Just accept that I have an incredible man, who loves me unconditionally. He's not going anywhere. He won't hurt me. He won't lie to me. And in 50 years, he's still going to want to hold my hand and spend every minute possible together. Hopefully by then I'm not so neurotic!
